The History of MSN, The true story

(Updated 25/05/2004)

I will attempt to give you some insight into the workings of MSN.  We will start with the beginning:

At their first meeting nothing was decided.  That was to become the mission statement of MSN

DECIDE NOTHING!

Stage Two:

The next step in building MSN was to hire the best programmer available that would work for $1.87 an hour.  Everything that we use from MSN is a result of the creativity of this one man.

Stage Three:

After completing the programming, MSN created their link to the World Wide Web..... I could not find anything slow enough to represent the actual connection speed.

Stage Four:

In anticipation of some minor problems, MSN began training people to give a standard response to customers that called for help!

Stage Five:

As the numbers of MSN employess mounted, it was necessary to provide a lunch room so they could rest and relax.  Some may have relaxed too much. 

Stage Six:

The brass at MSN found it hard to make decisions so a simple process was developed to assist them!  

Stage Seven:

Soon MSN had a download speed that matched their connection speed!  They really believe in consistancy!

Stage Eight:

As the complaints mounted, MSN added a 24 hour on-line feature.  It was as effective as their phone service!

Stage Nine:

As the number of calls from un-happy customers mounted, MSN created a department to deal with them!

Stage Ten:

The flood of emails received by MSN from customers requesting help were disposed of in a professional manner.

Stage Eleven:

A tour of MSN operations is available for those looking for a luagh!

Stage Twelve:

MSN established a reabate policy for those that cancelled their service.

Stage Thirteen:

Any "Can I........" question  was met with the same response!

Stage Fourteen:

When employees retire from MSN, they are allowed to take their uniform with them!